Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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