I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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