It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My cat gives me a boner
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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