So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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