Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
