I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
