oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
