At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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