week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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