happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
