ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
