she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
