It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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