I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
