rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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