Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dignity is for republicans.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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