wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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