so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
