I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
