I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
