What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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