i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
