okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
