Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
