i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
