you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
