she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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