I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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