So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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