People in love make me want to vomit
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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