you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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