Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize