Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
