Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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