i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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