Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
