He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
