I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I understand Curling. That high.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
