So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
