pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
