we're blogging at a bar
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
