i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
