At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
