is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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