Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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