I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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