Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
you made out with another girl for some wings
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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