Me too!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
