we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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