is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
