Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
this beer tastes like vomit already
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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