This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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