Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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