***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
